CHERISH
Love yourself so well, you feel lovable
We are wired to fall in love with our babies. Sadly, though, insecure parents pass along the unconscious belief that love must be earned.

Kids who learn to please their parents become pleasers as adults, seeking approval and mistaking it for love. Kids who can't please no matter what they do tend to become fiercely independent, but in a defensive way, with a chip on each shoulder.

Insecure people mistake approval for love. So they are on an unending quest to prove themselves worthy. Even when they succeed, the underlying belief remains. Soon they have to find a new quest.
Secure kids never had to earn love or prove anything. They learned they were lovable because they were treated lovingly.

Often this is the hardest (and last) concept for my clients to take in. In my personal experience, it's not something you can learn from a class or a book. It must be practiced.

Imagine treating yourself as though you were beloved all the time (but maybe start with an hour to get used to it). See if it might be interesting to keep treating yourself as though you were beloved, just to see if I'm right, to see if, in time (and it can take a year or more), you begin to feel lovable.
Delight in your joy.